she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
