She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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