I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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