i jhust puked up my retainher.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
