I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
