Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
