Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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