Grow some girl-balls and come out already
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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