I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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