Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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