I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
