At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
