My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
