You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
