i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
