What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
