so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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