my sisters under your porch take her home
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
