what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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