Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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