Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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