I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
