I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
