Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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