I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
