That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
