Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
