I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
