i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
