Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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