somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
