there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
