we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize