I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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