Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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