bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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