Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize