last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
