I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I CAN MOONWALK!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
