Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize