fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
