You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
