no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
