I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
