I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
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