Sponge bath it is.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
