Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She bit a glass in half.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
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