Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
