My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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