I don't think brook has ever known best
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
