Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
