I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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