Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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