i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize