I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
