I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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