Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
