and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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